who stole the kuKie from the kukie jarrr?

bye

2005-06-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

this is my last posting in this blog. the closure of this blog simbolises(that is definately the wrong spelling) my exit from my past. dats my problem. im too hung up on the past. my past. the people from my past. n it has to end here.
being caught up in wat used to be made me numb to what is here n now. the present. the people next to me. i have to value wats here now before it slips away. my family, my frens, my everything.
bfore leaving, i have to say gdbye to sum ppl. my brother(wit frens:jim, mud and kifli), huzir(who haunts me with his msgs every wk or so) n spikie( who seemed to always have the power to make me do stupid things).
i want to say thank you to everyone who has read this blog. thanks also to run. i hope the coming 6 years would draw our hearts closer even though we r gonna b quite apart.
im lookin forward to the unfolding of my new life. nus. degree. work. masters. love. family. frens. self. for the people who are still in my life, feel free to msg me always. this is applicable perhaps to the minahs from ai, minahs from yj, fifi(otak pisang ko, da lame ko senyap), RUN!!! and perhaps even to huzir( come to think of it, ur msgs dun seem to hurt,haha). im gonna werk on a new blog where everything is gonna be original. i'll keep you guys informed.
as for now... gd bye. and may our lives be filled with lasting moments of happiness. cheers!

sim nus sim nus

2005-06-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

today is d 1st of jun. the closing date for accepting banking n finance at sim was yesterday. did i make the right decision?! i sure hope so... nus here i come. :D

You'll never walk alone.

2005-05-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

I’m glad I caught the match between Liverpool n AC Milan. It was GREAT!!! Really! It was like a whirlwind of events… Milan’s 3 nil lead. Their 1st min goal. Liverpool’s comeback. The almost uneventful extra time. N the Reds’ ultimate win thru penalty!!!

Ive never liked them… Liverpool. I prefer Chealsea over them. Yet one has to admit… they have some quite cute guys in the team. Hahaz. Milan’s goals were (in my unskilled eyes) superb. Probably luck was on liverpool’s side. Maybe they had a strong witchdoctor(bomoh, my dear malay frens) do up a few spells. Hahaz. Oooh… kaka is cute isn’t he?!

All in all, an exhilarating match!!! Glad im the neighbourhood insomniac nowadays.

Now I just have to wait for American idol finale. Good luck to both contestants. Although it was observed by Maggie lim, radio DJ of power 98, that bo has shifty eyes. Shifty eyes= can not be trusted, hiding sumthing.

N congrats to all Reds fans

walkin zombie

2005-05-24T00:09:00.000-07:00

im sick...
for the past few nites... ive been fallin asleep at 4 and wakin up at 5.30. i stay up all night thinking abt him. i dream abt him. vivid dreams, u have, young junainah, i imagine yoda might say.

they started last wed...
i went to my bruder's place to watch the phantom menace n the attack of the clones... in preparation for the revenge of the sith(which deserves 2 thumbs up). the dvds belonged to dil. his mum gave away all his stuff coz she cant stand to c them ard. my brother apparently took dills dvds, some soccer figurines, all the playboy n fhm mags... and his diary.

guys dun keep diaries....
i gave him that... it doesnt really count as a diary, it swings more towards being a notebook. i remembered when i gave him that. it was his 19th burfdae... he hated man u so that was what i gave him... a man u notebook. he hated it. haha.

so there i was...
4 years later lookin at the same notebk. my brother told me to read an entry. any entry... at the bottom of the pg there was, in dil's handwriting 'AKDIL miSs ADIK'. heck, after every entry, he wrote that. all entries. from 3rd aug 2001 to 4th feb 2004. 61 entries. dil didnt have a younger sibling. the onli person he called adik was

me.

ADIK miSs AKDIL

If a girl cries infront of u

2005-05-19T21:44:00.000-07:00

excerpt taken from friendster bulletin board, sent by angelica/nadira

if a girl cries in front of u,
it means that she can't take it anymore.
If u take her hand,
she would stay with u for the rest of ur life;
If u let her go,
it wil be hard for her to go back to being herself with you once again.

A gal wont cry easily,
except in front of the person whom she loves the most,
she becomes weak.
A gal wont cry easily,
only when she loves u the most,
she put down her ego.

Guys,
if a gal cries bcoz of u,
please hold her hands firmly,
coz she's the one who is willing to stay with u 4 for the rest of ur life.

Guys,
if a gal cries bcoz of u,
please dont give her up,
maybe bcoz of ur decision,
u'L ruin her life.
When she cries right in front of u,
When she cries bcoz of u,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?

Think.(jun:haha, this part wld be vr hard 4 guys to do)
Which other girl has cried with pure sincerity,
In front of u,
And bcoz of u?
She cries not because she is weak,
She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy or pity,
She cries,
Because crying silently is no longer possible,
the pain, hurt n agony have bcome too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys,
Think about it,(again, this is hard to do)
If a gal cries her heart out to u,
And all because of u,
Its time to look back on wat u have done,
Only u will know the answer to it.
Do consider it,
Coz one day,
It may b too late for regrets,
It may b too late to say "im sorry".

(run, u better not make me cry dear. ill break ur neck.)

2005-05-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

my best fren, the female one, sent me this. those interested can just click that email button under this entry and i'll pass it to her. please consider. though i think that indian rojak is soooooooooooo disgusting, its still for a good cause, so heck, why not?

from noriati, the friend i was talking about:
dear friends,
in conjunction with darul makmur youth week,there will be a record setting event on dat day
dat is to haf 1000 ppl eating indian rojak simultaneously. hmm...i wld appreciate it if u guys are able to register urself for this event. the fees wld b $1 but the money will go to beneficiaries...its open to everyone of any races n religion...the place will be located at yishun park.time:11 am
Date: 4th June
I look forward for your repliesthank you...>
love, noriati

???

2005-05-06T01:39:00.000-07:00

Ive got no idea why, but my heart feels so heavy right now. I feel a sense of dread n sadness... yet i cant xplain it. i hope its nothing.

OUCH!!!

2005-04-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

PAIN!!! IM IN PAIN!!!

seriously, my throat's sore, my lungs n stomach is in so much pain. thank god my brains still fine.

anyway... im still gonna update this blog. right now i at yishun lib, god knows y. oooh, ive been reading this bk... the 7 habits of highly effective ppl and its gd. i mean, really gd. u guys shld take sum time to read it instead of reading useless blogs which go on and on on how useless everyone's life is. the bk is SUPERB. so READ IT. it will change your life, trust me.

on a different note, its difficult having a rlshp with a guy u almost never meet. hahaz. but i understand i guess. we're both ADULTS and have ADULT responsibilities... ok, who m i kidding? it SUX. n its gonna get worst coz he's thinking of joining THE POLICE, N XTRAORDINARY CAREER. well, if this doesnt work out, i can always blame it on u dear.

till then, we'll just keep runin, runin. :D

blessed

2005-04-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some soul searching recently and have gotten some things figured out. i am blessed. blessed with a family who loves me. a mom who will do anything for me, a dad who has worked his whole life for me, a brother who is one of the most loving people i have ever met, a sister who gives me advice all the way and a cute nehhew and niece who have touched my heart in a way that no one has.
I have friends who are there for me. maybe not all the time coz everyone is bz wit life as it is... but there will always be at least one of them who sticks by me at any one time to make sure i wun get lost.
I have my boyfriend who has at every turn shown me how much he cares. although we have just started to get to know each other and we hardly see each other, i am hapy with the knowledge that, at least for now, he is mine. each meeting gets better than the rest and i know of just how much he will sacrifice for me.
thus for all of that and many more i am blessed. i am far from being contented with my life as i know there more things out there for me to experience and achieve. however, there is nothing to complain about so far.

up, down round and round

2005-03-24T13:30:00.000-08:00

i am feeling estatically happy and sadly depressed. yup, im kinda in lurve rite now. ok, i wun call it lurve yet. however, ive never felt so excited about a guy in all my life. never. neeeeeever. haha, im starting to ramble.

he's just so nice and sweet and nice and sweet and nice and sweet and wow!!! hahaz. the other day, i took a bus with him to bedok interchange and he was so great that i kept smiling all the way till i reached yishun!!! dats a BIG deal coz i dun smile. smiling is just not my thing.

this guy is gonna b sumthing. or rather sumone important. and i cant wait to c wat is gonna happen next...

Peterpan: Mungkin Nanti

2005-03-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

PETERPAN - Mungkin Nanti
Saatnya ku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah Lepaskan semua
AKu yakin inilah waktunya

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja masa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita 'kan bertemu lagi
Satu pinta ku jangan kau 'tuk
Bertanya kan kembali
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat masalahku

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita 'kan bertemu lagi
Satu pinta ku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri

stay

2005-01-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

this song means alot to me. it came from a story which literally changed my life. Bituin has really changed my perception on many things. It has thought me something about myself. I'll remember this song forever.

Stay, by Carol Banawa

I want you to stay
Never go away from me
Stay forever
But now, now that you're gone
all I can do is pray for you
To be here beside me again

*Why did you have to leave me
When you said that love will conquer all
why did you have to leave me
When you said that dreaming
Was as good as reality

And now I must move on
Trying to forget all the memories
Of you near me
But I can't let go of your love
That has taught me to hold on
I want you to stay never go away from me
Stay forever
But now, now that you're gone
All I can do is pray for you
To be here beside me again(Repeat *)

And now I must move one
Trying to forget all the memories
Of you near me
But I can't let go of your love
That has taught me to hold on(Repeat *twice)

Coda:I want you to stay
never go away from me
Stay forever
I want to stay but I have to go my way
Oohhhmmm

ooh, there's anuther song sung by Carol that i really love too.
in fact, i love all her songs!
but too bad, her cds are not sold in Singapore. Im trying to find a way to get my hands on them. Can anyone help?

time

2005-01-17T22:43:00.000-08:00

ive learnt a valuble lesson this week. ive learnt to truly forgive n forget. it was hard, n it hurt but ive emerged as a better person. no more hatred, resentment n such. n guess what? i feel happier now. n free. no longer caged.

woah...

2004-10-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

haha. haha. haha. ever felt dat u'r smilling for no apparent gd reason. ur in the middle of this audi and suddenly u just cant stop smilling. and your chubby chem teacher notices this and he grows nervous at the tot of u having a crush on him?

no, im not having a crush on any chubby, bouncy chem teacher. im just really... happy rite now. really... contented... and i just feel very light. n giddy with happiness.

this past few days, since the commencement of ramadhan... im beginning to fall more and more for this wonderful guy. wonderful, cute, ultra nice guy(no, i wasnt paid to say tis). after all this years... i tot dat i cldnt have any more feelings for him. but dat tot changed since the start of the year... n we've been together for a few mths now... i hardly noticed wen we started this relationship again but... im glad we did.

i may say i find other guys gd looking, or dat i like sum guy i just met... but i neva really mean those werds. since the start of the year, there's onli been one in this heart and dats him, the guy i've known since primary skul. hahaz. god, its kind of whacked but hey, shit happens.

just wanna tell dat guy rite now dat i love him so much, and though he's such an arsehole, my feelings for him wun change... anytime soon aniway... hahaz. ;}

graduation day

2004-10-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

finally, im really out of this skul! now, dat its happened... this past 1 and a half years has bees like a dream... or nitemare... at certain times. i got to know lots of great peeps, kept in touch with a few old frens... n sadly lost a few. i got to know alot more abt myself... u can sae that i've really grown, physically, emotionally n spiritually. lets take a look at some of the great ppl dat ive gotten to know.

1. fifi
however, since ive already talked so much abt him in previous post(haha) lets waste my energy on others.

2. my sisters : hana, liana n syaz, in alphabetical order.
u guys r real great, abt the few ppl who can actually stand my crap. i know sumtimes i take my jokes to far... so im sorry if i've eva hurt u guys or made u guys pissed. really didnt mean it.

3.the greatest ctg on earth 118(03) 218(04)
god, i'll remember u guys for life. i remember my sis, jas, my closest thru-thick-n-thin fren desmond. remember kheng2, hui xuan, mei hui(mentos), my darlings chongtak n ruiming. my braders man n isa. wen juan, kuan n hua2, china boy, zhang peng, malaysian aspiring director, kian wee. n yanling. if i 4got to mention any names, im so sorry yeah. but i'll eppreaciate u just the same. gd luck guys, n we can make it. thanks 4 putting so much effort in writing for me my cards.

4. my snugglebunny
its been so long since i've heard thaterd. kind of miss them. n though both of us have moved on with our lives, i still remember n treasure those times we had. how it all ended was so sudden and sad but how it all began ... simply unforgetable.'l always b the only guy who can make me smile dat much, n i was not just saying things wen i said i was sori. i really am. ill always remember the 1st time we held hands, and also the time we went to get my mum's present. thank you.

god, ill continue later yeah, really have to go.

to all my frenzzz

2004-10-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

Melompat Lebih Tinggi
Sheila On 7

Kita berlari dan teruskan bernyanyi
Kita buka lebar pelukan mentari
Bila ku terjatuh nanti, kau siap mengangkat aku lebih tinggi
Seperti pedih yang telah kita bagi
Layaknya luka yang telah terobati
Bila kita jatuh nanti... kita siap tuk melompat lebih tinggi

Bersama kita bagai hutan dan hujan Aku ada karna kau telah tercipta
Reff: Kupetik bintang,
untuk kau simpan
Cahayanya tenang,
berikan kau perlindungan
Sebagai pengingat teman
Juga sebagai jawaban
Semua tantangan

Chorus: Sebelum waktu memisahkan detikku detikmu
Sebelum dewasa menua, memisahkan kita,
Degupan jantung kita akan selalu seirama
Bila kau rindu aku

this time its for real

2004-09-03T02:26:00.000-07:00

always in anticipation. always. my heart thumped steadily faster. i can always sense it when he's there. always. everytime he's near, i sort of feel it. i look up to confirm it. and he's there.

my heart stop. just for that moment everything to me freeze. its him. right across the room. and as usual he did not dissapoint. he looks great. always. hahaz, even when he's shagged and wearing and army-print singlet, he looks good. but this time he looks... absolutely...

he noticed me. i tried to avoid eye contact. always. but our eyes usually meet aniway. he smiled. i smiled. bliss. my cheeks grew warm. warmer. thank god i remembered to breathe.

i went to sit down. next to my mom. my eyes wandered. always looking, always searching. and he suddenly appeared. my mum said something to him. he smiled. he walked off, only to return with something which my mum had obviously asked for. talk about being so sweet.

he's practically the only boy my mum likes. she always talks to him. always. always asks him to do little things for her that the others can do. but she never ask the others. only him. and he does not seem to mind at all. he calls my mum 'mum'.

this has got to be the longest crush ive had... ever since... i was in sec 2. thats some three years ago. and it doesnt die. it grows stronger. everytime. i wait with certainty for the next time i see him, so that i can just give him a smile. ive known him since i was very young. my earliest memory of him... is something so beautiful that i shall not even say it on this blog.

am i in lurve? am i finally in lurve after all the relationships n flings... am i finally going to get my heart broken? i am not sure. after being in this state for 3 or so years... i guess i can wait a little while longer to decide.

i tried to write a poem abt him. but it was just not enough to describe him. heck, this long write-up isnt enuff. everytime, there is just something new dat i learn about him. he makes me hapi with just a smile. just one smile.

if u r reading this...which i seriously doubt... u will noe instantly that im referring to you(there are not many guys whom my mum is civil to).

fifi's blog

2004-08-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

this is wat i happened across on fifi's blog. hahaz. (hafiz, since u copied my entry, i felt it was only rite for me to do the same :P)

I came across this when I read kukie's blog..The thing is im shocked..Im Speechless..Not by the fact that she wrote this but some of the events which "so called" happened..
I have a best friend..Her name was kukie..started to know her after the jc1 orientation thingy..From there,our frenship blossomed..I treat her as my best friends..In fact shes the one and only best friends i ever have..I had none during my primary school days and even in secondary school..So,Im happy to have a fren like her..Other than Bob and apek,kukie would be the one I consult..And the same goes for Kukie..I remember we always chat on saturday..Never fail to chat wif her on every saturday..But things changed..I hardly saw her in MSN and the fact that her hp are confiscated make it worse..But I still treat her as my bestfren..
Kukie,
I acknowledge that our friendships is waning but it is not because of what was reported happened
but more to miscommunication..im serious..Not only you felt that I seem to see right through you but I feel the same way too..I also find it strange that you no longer said hi to me..We bump into each other quite a few times but we seem to ignore each other..I wanted to ask you before about all this but...Morever,remember the time when you came looking for rahim and he is not there?you ask hanna to ask me where is rahim and stuff..In side,I was thinking why ask hanna to do it for you when u could ask me,I mean we're best fren right..Anyway, (i dun understand! wen i said hi to him the other day... he looked so nervous... it was as if he wished dat he was anywhere but infront of me.) just wanted to say this is not true..
Jun,seriously,I did not receive the msg which u supposedly sent to me..Its not that i ignore u but i didnt receive ur msg..sumpah..If I received ur msg,i would surely reply you..Jun,I think all this is purely miscommunication and im sorry that it happened..As for ur birthday,you didnt tell me when is it..But I hope its not too late to say this, Happy Belated BIRTHDAY KUKIE..
Hey,Im really sorry that all this happened..I mean its a freak miscommunication thingy..I really need to talk to u on this..I dont wanna lose another friend..a best friend..I had lost one already in yj and adding u on that list makes me more sad..I really really need to talk to u to clear things up so plz plz respond to this..be it thru msn or sms..as long as we clear all this..
(ps:I do not know how to contact you..I hope this helps)

hanging out with faizeezee

2004-08-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

i watched a movie on friday with zeezee. collateral, tom cruise. quite good. n it feels good goin out with my good fren agn... i think it's been a yr since we went out together... hahaz, so much can happen within a yr... very amazing. if i only knew a yr ago dat i'd be like this rite now... i wldnt believe it at all. strange, strange life we have.

i watched the village with my baby brudda the next day... it didnt turn out to be wat i expected... so, really, i gave it a thumbs up! real nice.

to man, sorry 4 the last posting. its just wat i feel. hahaz, u'r still my smelly brudda no matter wat.

the funny mth of august

2004-08-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

my horoscope
You're sure you know who n wat will make u happy. Now, events raise qns. When faced with unsettling developments, your instinct is to keep things where they were. Instead, regard these as a chance to broaden your horizons, socially n interllectually. This attitude turns enforced changes into an adventure. From 10th Aug to early Sept, things wun necessarily be what they seem, so experiment! Try everything, judge nuthing and make no lasting decisions until the month is over.
i seriously have got no idea what this means, but hey.
it has been an interesting month so far. where shld i start???

on self-proclaimed holiday.
there was a looooong holiday, stretching all the way till tuesdae. on wed, i refused to go to skool! yup, was on self-proclaimed holiday. hahaz, for no gd reason too, but it felt GREAT! especially with the fact dat someone else did not go to school as well. yup, sumone from yj(no names disclosed, ofcourse) i did NOT influence him in anyway, so stop looking at me in dat accusing way. at 7.36, we were at the busstop, contemplating whether to go or skip. at 8, we were at bk @ cwp, hahaz. and the rest is history

on fifi, my bestest guy fren.
oooh, and sumthing more impt cropped up on Sat. yup, my then ex-bestfren FINALLY msged me! he saw my blog and the posting i dedicated solely to loathing him! hahaz, turns out that he did not get the msg at all... despite the fact that i sent it to him TWICE. anyway, at that pt of time, i was no longer THAT pissed off with him.

anyway, i suggested dat we just 4get dat silly incident, since he's so cute n everything. yesterday, however, my bestest guyfriend in the world(hahaz) gave me this huge... no... gargantuan... box of chocolates n a card wif a pix of two dogs! its like he knew i like chocolates n dogs! (oh, n im the dog on the left, since its cuter) AWWW... he shldnt have! anyway, wat impressed me the most is not the chocolates or the dogs... its the handwriting on the card! i mean, which guy writes that neatly n straight? 4 any guy to write like tat, he must really be sincere abt our frenship! i was so amazed!!! fifi has got to b the nicest n sweetest fren on earth! (i bet he wld b pissed on knowing dat he onli had to give me a simple piece of paper with that handwriting to show his sincerity)

my apology
so, i wld like to say sorry 4 accusing him of being such an arse. all those things i posted abt him succeeded in pacifying my anger on him, im that kind of person i guess, writing abt wat im feeling keeps me sane. but honestly, im really sori for writing all dat abt you n im really looking forward to laughing at you wen u finally enter ns! i m sure our friendship wld last even though you move to Zimbabwe n change ur name to Siti Hajar.

anyway, abt my abg man...
SIGH. i dunno wat he's trying to do wif his life. Man, i dunno much abt fika, but from the way u described her, she sure sounds like a great girl 4 u... i dunno wat happened between the two of you, n i dunno anything abt the new girl... but i cant help but thnk dat you made a mistake. however, its your life, so good luck.

abt bestfrens who see rite thru you

2004-07-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

i have this best fren(haha, at this pt, ppl wld be asking me: which one?). i call him fifi. he was real nice and all, gives great advice and was quite funny. the problem is with the word 'was'. as in PAST TENSE. nowadays, he's basically not-there. i seldom see him... we never talk... we dun even acknoledge(is dat wrongly spelled?) each other when we meet on those really, really seldom occasions. in fact, he sees rite thru me...
now, with any other fren, i cldnt have cared. but we're bestfrens... at least he did say we'r bestfriends... YES, he was the one who suggested it in the first place. so WAT IS THE PROBLEM? i dun understand! wen i said hi to him the other day... he looked so nervous... it was as if he wished dat he was anywhere but infront of me. i msged him the other day... and he didnt even rpl. i just asked him to watch a movie with my fren and me, just wanted two of my close frens to get to know each other, just wanted him to celebrate my birthday with us... and he cldnt even return my msg, even to say 'i cant make it'. is it not common courtesy? but instead, he left me waiting for his non-existent reply. he didnt ven wish me happy burfdae.
so... if your name is HAFIZ BIN ZULFAKI, yes, you've hurt me, no, we're not best frens and not seeing you again wld be such a blessing.

prom... so now what?

2004-07-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

arghhh!!! i've decided to go for prom... the thing is... im goin STAG!!! can u imagine??? arghhh!!! this is really crappy... maybe i might not go afterall... but... its prom. hmm... i really cant go alone! dat really symbolises losership...n, no im no loser. maybe i shld just 4get abt it totally? but its prom...(do i sense repetition here...?) i can go with my classmates... i mean... dats wat they're planning to do aniway but... haizzz. at least its better than ntg.

my cute nephew and his even cuter aunt

2004-07-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

my nephew is sooooo cute. his name is Ahmad Ryzal(pronounced as 'rai'zal). notice dat i didnt include the father's name? hahaz. lets just say we dun get along well. so aniway, my nephew is so cute. he gets mad when people dun talk to him and play with him. he likes sweet things... thus he loves eating his cough syrup.
oh, he watches tv... alot. his smile is so ... pure. its like he's really, really happi coz along with that smile are his twinking eyes. he likes to drink pear juice so much dat at times he refuses to drink anythink else. like milk. can u imagine dat a 4-mth-old has preference on food??? he kicks around alot and his baby language is so cute!!! hahaz. aniway, as cute as he is... IM CUTER!!! :P

mAts, minAhs and the possibility of a new kind of holocaust.

2004-07-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

i hate mats

i hate minahs

i just cant stand them. i mean reeeeeeeeeally. urgh. here i m in the yj library, n believe me, there everywhere. when the year started, there is suddenly a heavy influx of malays... no, i dun have anything against malays generally. i like the culture, the food and yada yada. i love myself. but i really, really can NOT stand a majority of the population which label themselves (willingly or not) a mat slash minah slash both.

but the real big wonder is wat IS the definition of a mat-minah culture? who is in, and who's just an ordinary, malay, human being? in this, i m totally lost. wat i do know is dat wen u spot one, u'll definately know. is it the look? the distinctive odour maybe?
hmm, someone really has got to start on a website. yes they are interesting. is it not interesting, how one squeezes his feet through that tiny hole at the end of his jeans?

anyway, as i was saying i hate them. and i did alot of thinking lately, you know, search deep inside to reason out wat the real reason behind this animosity is. does the problem lie with them, or just me. so, after much soul-searching, i came to a reasonable enough conclusion, i'm just fine and this mat-minah people should be STAMPED OUT completely. before they start taking over the world.

stamping out... hmm... nothing to drastic... maybe a few gas chambers here and there... throw in a few ghettos where they can slowly yet surely die out. maybe they wld start eating each other out of starvation... that'll be much more entertaining television then survivor, anytime.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

2004-07-06T23:57:00.000-07:00

im finally gonna watch spidey!!! hahaz. the show is at 330. yeah!!! just a few more minutes n ill be reunited with my one and onli!!! NO, not doc oct. tobey is such a hunk eh?
yaya, i sound like a total bimbo... but we all have our bimboish moments allrite???

sheesh

2004-07-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

i mean reAlly... i cant believe i was dat sappy on the last post... totally out of character that one. sheesh. it will totally tarnish my ice cold reputation. urgh. and really you ppl. only comment sappy postings... see, dats really the outcome of watching too much bollywood.

in memory of dil

2004-06-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

its a huge wonder really. you never really notice the moment you've made a friend. is it at that point of time u introduce yourself? or maybe its the moment you two first smile. or share a joke. or start to gossip abt the other fella across the room. the exact moment where u find a friend slips past you.

yrs pass. you're sitting in your room, and you start to smile although u'r all alone. memories fill your tots. abt the first ice cream you threw at your friend's face... abt all the moments you skipped classes together just because u cant stand the food at the canteen and just had to lunch out. and you remember abt the time you cried on his/her shoulders wen sumthing bad came up at home.

and suddenly, u feel so empty... and alone.

coz u realized dat, no, u have not been in touch for so long. and something really hurts inside.

i've not given much tot abt all this. maybe im too bz. or maybe... i didnt notice it till now. one of my close friends died during the holidays. i was on my way to burger king to study with syifaa when i received the call from my blood brother. dil was my brothers age. 22.

i just sat there. not doing anything. my head went blank. there were no tears, no wailing... just this very, very, very empty painfulness i felt in my heart. i remembered the time wen my brother and him carried me wen i fell. i was 6 then. my leg got caught in this drain. we were playing catching. i was a sore loser. we all were. it was so unfair! they never let me win. but they made it a point to buy me ice cream latter.

its been weeks since he died. and it was only last night dat i sat down and cried. i guess the reality of it has never really sink in. till now.

and i realized im missing alot of my friends. those stupid minahs(i'm saying this with alot of affection ok) from ai, lan and my other brothers from my youth and the closest friend i had in yj last year... amir. ive drifted apart from all of them so much. who initiated it? wen did this drifting apart start aniway? it past by be again. the moment wen we drifted. and i hardly realized it until now... wen were acres off. do they still remember me? difficult qn to ask really.

i hope to treasure my current and future friendships. i wun make dat mistake like i did wif dil again. hopefully

only one song can really show my feelings rite now

2004-06-28T02:20:00.000-07:00

Hoobastank

The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

i guess i'll spill all on another posting... watch out for it yeah?

euro... n wat the guys just don't notice.

2004-06-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

i was watching england vs portugal the other day and hey, i was dissapointed. but im not here to give u guys a review... and give my two cents abt the match. nope, im not into the nitty-gritty details. however, there are many things abt soccer dat guys just dun notice!!! like why becks is such a star. is it because of his talents? sure, he was a sharpshooter. take note of 'was'. was as in back in 1998 and before that.

u see, the only reason why he is such a star is bcoz he is oh so cuuuuuuuuute! see, he went to real madrid(if im not wrong, dun sue me if i am) and instantly brings more revenue from sales of merchandise than all the other players COMBINED. look at ronaldo, true talent packed in one bald head. are his figurines selling? erm... the moral of the story, dun be talented n become like ronaldo, be totally non-talented and become a star like becham!

n did any guy at all notice dat the french coach (in france vs greece) was caught by the camera twice for ...gasp!... picking his nose!!! urgh!!! no wonder they lost(besides the fact dat france has always sucked). the moral of this story, dun date frenchies! they are totally disgusting!

and u guys said u were such experts in soccer.

abt ppl who curse

2004-06-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

i m not trying to appear to be a nun. but seriously, i really pity these ppl. i mean its ok if u accidentally spat out the more colourful part of ur vocab should a soaring pig just fell rite on ur head as u were walking down the street... but for those who use these werds at the front, centre n end of every single one of their sentences... its disgusting really. it reflects alot on the speaker... abt the upbringing...and yada yada.

they either fall on one or all of the categories below:
:juvenile(puberty cums on late for sum)
:have a serious problem getting across to ppl
:have got no idea wat the werds actually mean
:plain stupid

anyone who reads this and wanna contest my views... well, just f*** urself.

arghhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhHhh!!

2004-06-23T17:51:00.000-07:00

here i m at yj... i rushed all the way to school so dat i wun be late for my maths retest. guess wat... i arrived just in time. at 8am sharp, i was rite at the back of the exam hall... only thing was... i realized, much to my horror dat the gp paper was in progress! yup, NOT maths.
so there i was mentally kicking myself for all the hustle i went thru to get to school on time. i went to the library, rested for awhile... when sumthing finally sank in... i was supposed to take the freakin gp paper. by this time, i was already 30mins late. arghhh. so i skipped it. mite as well, rather then werk my butt off for dat paper and still fail it due to time constraint. urghhh! im such an idiot!

introducing...the chocolate starfish n d hotdog flavoured water!!!

2004-06-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

heya! im in skool rite now... yj... haiya, eversince this economy drive thingy... cant even feel the aircon. all dat i can feel rite now is... the carbon dioxide of the fella sitting next to me... im kinda holding my breath... so im not really sure if he has bad breath... hmm... he sure looks like the type.... ah yjcians, there's bound to be sumthing wrong with em'.
arghhh... its almost the end of the hols now!!! i cant believe it. not only do they(they refering to the evil zoids dat run this school) take away from us 1.5 wks due to normal lessons... they're even taking away the whole of next wk for out yr 2 retests!!! oh the trauma im goin thru rite now... arghhh.
well... i really gotta go now... gotta buy a special sumthing 4 dat really special sumone... hahaz. peace outz!